Time has been going by too quickly, lately. I feel a certain urgency to soak up the moments I have. Maybe the rapid development of my life just seems more apparent because I have children. It’s like having a living, breathing timeline where I associate the physical growth of my boys with the time that I have lost or that I have left.
I do find it interesting that there may be some science behind why I feel this way. One obvious explanation is that I already have 30 years under my belt, which is a good amount of time. I also believe that I have had many significant experiences in that amount of time that the average 30 year old may not. All of this, I compare to my future timeline where things seem a bit simpler and smaller.
For instance, if you have a five hour drive, but have already driven four how long is another hour, really? To me, I see this as my mind being subconsciously conditioned for what to expect.Besides that, though, there is also a physical aspect that may explain not so much the variance of perception inside my adult years, but the change of perception as we all grow into our own adulthood.
To a child, everything is big, because they are small. As that child grows up, everything gets smaller. Many studies suggest that size is related to time. An example of this would be if you were to swing a newspaper at fly with lightening speed the fly will have little apprehension because of the ample amount of time it has to move. It perceives that amount of time by the distance between itself and the newspaper, which is huge. To the person swinging it, it’s close. The size difference between the man and the fly, being the key factor, here.
Everyone is just getting too old and I’m tired of it. At this rate I’ll be 50 in no time. Shit, I’m almost dead. This is, ultimately, why we stress about our age, right? I think about how short life is and how everyone is dying. It’s nature running it’s course. Pretty soon we’ll all be feeding the plants and there’s just nothing we can do about it. So I try and soak up what I can.
I’m exaggerating, of course, I don’t have cancer or anything, but this shit does weigh on my mind fairly often. Knowing that I have not fulfilled certain responsibilities and personal goals that are important to me… That unfinished feeling I’d have. No one wants to come back as a ghost and settle a bunch of unfinished business. I don’t know. Am I crazy?