Having two very lively and socially active children, I see a lot of “friends” that come and go. Because of this, I have had to deal with many types of parent personalities. My method, usually, is to try and adapt to the tone of that particular person. I am always a bit cheesy in conversation and fully sarcastic, but remain subtle enough to have my “this guy’s a fuck-bag” attitude to go undetected. One thing that I absolutely can’t deal with, though, is obliviously rude parents. Snotty, snappy little soccer mom cunts and douchey, vanilla dads. The worst.

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From the movies you would think school and sports events would be chuck full of hot single mom’s eagerly seeking out another regrettable experience, but that’s just not the case. Its like the moms are M&Ms. A hard shell of icy looks and no interest with a melt-in-your-mouth inside of come fuck me all over the bleachers mid game. Where’s all the fun, folks?

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While unwillingly interacting and observing others in this fake space that we are all apart of, I can’t help think of all the nasty, horrible, and most of all, normal shit these people do behind closed doors. It’s all a game of pretend where our genuine selves go uncelebrated.

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I am always honest with my children. When Timmy’s dad is a little off I tell my kids to hang out with Timmy if they want, but his dad’s a fucking retard so head’s up on how Timmy might turn out. Don’t repeat that! Or I’ll say… listen, buddy. I hate that kids mom. She’s kind of a bitch. Do you really want to go over there for dinner? Give them a slight nudge, ya know.

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What do you parents think? Have you experienced similar things? Please like, comment, like, share, like and definitely share my shit. I am a wonderful writer and everyone should read my stuff…? Yes! For now…

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