Well, I finally pulled the trigger and booked a trip to Florida with the fam. I’m pretty excited about it. The kids are too. The responsible side of me knows that this will only hurt my already modest income, but I just threw those fucks right away. Right into the yard somewhere. It’s happening, dammit.

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Besides the brats and me, I decided to also bring my mum. Yep, my mum. Because I just decided to call her that. No, you’re stupid! Anyways… I gave her the rules already, though. Don’t stop me from blacking out and don’t interrupt my date rapes. I’m slightly kidding, of course, as those days are long gone for me. I’m sober now. Like, right now. But I will not be. Like, July 19th through the 27th.

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I am excited for the kids to really experience the ocean now that they are at an age where they can remember. I haven’t made up my mind on going to Universal or not, which seemed to be important to them. Shit, what’s another $1,000? It’s fine because I know that they’ll be taken back when we get there and will, then, realize why we didn’t just get a place in Orlando. Daytona beach. Sunshine, smiles, and meth heads.

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Since we’re right on the beach I don’t want to be looking like a fat, nasty bitch so I’ve been trying to drop a little weight by eating right and masturbating a whole ton. It shouldn’t be hard. So are you going anywhere this summer? Maybe you’re vacationing alone? Leave a comment, like, subscribe or you could even SHARE my page. If you want no pressure. It’s easy to do. Just do it. Feel good about it. Get inside of it. Slow at first. Let the intensity build. A warm and velvety flesh pocket of shares. Mmm… there ya go.

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